Querida Abuelita,
Was it like this when you were young? Did you feel
invincible? Older than you really were? Ignorant and naiive or aware and
conscious? I don't know how I feel about my age or my "youth."
Everyone insists on referring to my life here as an adventure... You could say
so. But, isn't life in itself an adventure.. Or more of a journey.. Thus far,
my journey began with twenty-two years of preparation. During my intensive prep
courses of everyday life, the more experiences I had with the abundance of
people i have met, I was able to slightly narrow the margin of likes, dislikes,
and the unknowns. The best gifts are always decorated in the most unexpected
packages...this is what I have learned. When I worked at the hotel, I would
meet truckloads of people a day. I was a part of a large corporation funnel
system, which causes more people to be overworked in a fixed, toxic
environment. The promotions don't make you richer as a human. in fact, you more
or less lose your will to participate in society...unless, you consider work a
pillar of society. Today, for society to function, your participation in the
economic sector is invaluable. But, how this process has changed from a means
of survival (to pay for food, clothing, and housing), into a means of
identification, I may never understand.
I've always valued my independence. But, it's not always
easy. I went to Granada this weekend alone to sleep on someone's couch for
three days. I know you are worried...that's why this revelation is admitted
now...after the fact. The person I stayed with is fantastic. He experienced a
different prep course than I-- having parents that choose to be international
with their children leaves an everlasting impression on many of these types of
people... At 24, he speaks 3 languages fluently, has lived in Liverpool for a
year and France for two years. He has a position in an international company,
with which comes the opportunity to meet more people like himself--an
empathetic support group of curious seekers. I met two more of his colleagues,
one from Poland and one from the united states, both of whom moved here 5 years
ago without knowing a lick of Spanish. Qué
cojones. Now, they are fluent, have secure positions in a stable
enterprise, romantic interests with people of different backgrounds, and spend
their weekends going out with each other until 4am...at the earliest. The
conversation covers all social arenas--politics, humor, film, languages,
beauty...an aberico of the essence of humanity. I really never thought my times
here could evolve and flourish so rapidly in such an impressionable way. I
explained to the group, after about 3 glasses of wine and 3 gin and tonics
(don't worry, over a span of 5 hours) that I am walking on a cloud. Every.
Single. Day. Feeling helpless in a language at times and making mistakes is
hard for someone who is hypercritical of herself. But, this is why I'm here. I
left my comfort zone. I went to a new city...alone... Only with the positive
energy and hope that my host would be just as hospitable and friendly as he
was. But, I must admit, he was more. The people that are close to me from home
know who they are. But, there has always been a separation of friends and
family for me. Until now. This individual has a family of friends... They
function as a unit, can spend a whole day together, on the weekend, after 5
days at the daily grind together as well, to remind each other of old memories,
while constantly making new ones. This person introduced me to his
family...without knowing me. He trusted.
Grandma, you have always taught me this--trust in the good in
people. I just couldn't see it in the states. Instead, all I saw was the
outline of a human wrapped in money and stamped with Louis Vuitton, orange
county, Mercedes Benz, or strings of zeroes. But, all that had to occur for
this to be so emphatic...so special. I got to write him a note in his travel
book for the people he hosts, but I don't feel like that will ever be enough. I
hope I get to repay the favor some day and show him half as good of a time as
he provided for me...the unconscious willingness to share good with someone.
My journey is never going to change my relationship with you
or how much I long for one of your warm hugs, but, this adventure is going to
allow me to be a better version of myself. And if this is only the beginning, I
must keep smiling and repaying the favor to all of those who have been so
welcoming to me.
I love you.
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