Sorry its been so long. You know what it's like... Going from place to place, and sometimes, all you want to do is to sit down and relax...but, then, you become restless with that too. Right now I'm finishing up my trip in Cádiz. It has been such a reinvigorating respite from pueblo life. Pueblo life is quiet and mapped. Here, I have gotten lost in a forest, trekked through another forest in the rain, and taken a leisurely, nostalgic stroll along the sand in a blanket of humidity that reminded me of what it must be like at home. I don't think about home often... But, I do think about you and how much you would love every nook and cranny of every experience... I pay a bit more attention than you to detail-- the way someone smiles, their most common phrases, etc.. But, here, I don't have to. Via an osmotic transfer of mentality, I have absorbed this universal acceptance of just being and allowing others to just be. It's so much easier to label and categorize everything so we can compartmentalize our feelings, and, therefore, our relationships. But, why? Because people think life is already hard enough? Because we are scared? Or because we are too comfortable in known territory that maybe a vacation suffices as a measure to escape our fears, even if just for a week...?
The multitude of reasons is a shelled seed at the the root of a fertile tree of problems we call "life." The more excuses we give, the stronger our roots cling to the soil, less likely to uproot and more dependent upon the worry and fear as fertilizer to keep it "healthy and strong."
I don't think stripping this seed of its protective layer is easy, or even humanly possible. Because we all have a shell, but, what's beautiful in life is when you meet people that live outside their shell, and outside themselves.
I have been received into this family in Cádiz by a mutual connection from the United States. The last three days have been some of my favorites because for the first time I feel like I belong here. Mostly because of the nature...Jose Luis leads an orienteering league in Cadiz. Orienteering is when you have a map and run through the forest to stop at 11 different checkpoints to report your time. Whoever returns to base first, wins. Well, it was my first time playing and it was just a practice route...but, when you put two girls together in a forest, who have both never played this game before..what happens? They get lost... But, not just lost... Terribly misrouted...to the point where Ingrid and I were peeing our pants when we got to a pueblo outside the forest because we had walked way too far in the opposite direction... 4.5 hours lost in the forest on my first day in Cadiz. Jose Luis didn't know me that well yet and felt absolutely dreadful, like he allowed me to get lost by placing me with Ingrid. Amidst my laughter, I explained how much fun I had... I made a new friend, spoke broken Spanish for 4 hours (Hell, I was hot, tired, and I didn't know any forest words...), and got to be in one of the most beautiful forests I've ever seen.. Without paths made by people, without, even, other people... A mountain from where you could see the ocean and then mindlessly get lost, and find cows grazing, and the boxes where they cultivate honey..untouched, resting in the middle of the forest...but, what was even more chuly (cool) is that the girl that I was lost with was just as captivated as I was.
I knew we had to get back because we had a responsibility to the 30 other people waiting for us, but, I wasn't ever worried I wouldn't get back. It's about the journey. I'm here. And to live in fear and settle in to my burrow in the pueblo is easier than offer friendship and explore new terrain with new people. It's about being fearless - the first step is hard, but, the end result is liberating because you create your destiny.
My dad always taught me, "It never hurts to ask. The worst someone can do is say no."
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