I was to eager to begin my trip.
I had already taken flight mentally and wanted an outlet to express that emotional anticipation.
I had been coming out of a difficult summer. The floor had been pulled out from under me. Four years flew by in a whirlwind of change; however, they were change of circumstances...adaptable ones at that.
I felt like I was the only one that was different...that believed in certain morals and philosophies...that understood that there is something missing here...where I was living. My reflection in the mirror echoed the pain I felt that I couldn't connect with my peers from home.
I spent the summer taking long walks, doing yoga, going to the beach, and babysitting two adorable boys to pass the time until the day arrived.
I haven't looked at my first post until right now...and, now, I an see myself so much more clearly.
Now. To pack and prepare. To stream my wishes, dreams, hopes, thoughts, ideas, and expectations about the next ten months. List
In closing, I must reluctantly reveal that words, sentences, constructed prose, etc. cannot convey the pleasure the prospects of this trip have provided me with. The anticipation of this closely approaching distant reality rooted a Spanish seed within me--a separate pulse stimulating a new organ. Whether I return at the end of ten months having consumed my capacity, or I am given the privilege to stay and undertake whatever prospects there that I must indulge myself in, so be it. I hope that this blog is an outlet for not only myself, but, for those looking for inspiration to leave a life they constantly question, for those with the equitable sub-conscious angst I have right now in my pre-departure state, so that I may provide both solace and advice on how to prepare yourself for a similar experience, and for those back at home, that I may share my growing zeal and abroad-inspired stories that mark my life in a similar way that I would have texted you, made you listen to over coffee, or told you "you had to be there" about back at home. I am almost there.
None of the above are skills you can place on a resume. Nor are they basic tools everyone feels they should learn, or don't already have.
But, in this post, I realize the strength of my subconscious. I forgot that I had expressed this list, and continued to carry it with me in my memory. This list has been the driving force behind my endless adventures spawned by an endless lack of humility.
It's unbelievable how spot on I was about everything that may come in the future, in a generalized manner. Some days, I feel at max. capacity, and others, I imagine myself never leaving. Not only that, I still hope I have been able to inspire those of you that read this. That you feel empowered to take control of your life and do what you really want. I always believed in being a good person before anything else. I always tried to express that and put others before myself. I struck gold in Palma de Río...I have never had more people offer to take care of me, cook for me, come to their campo, etc etc. With love in the air and hearts bigger than the sun, they cultivate a pure form of compassion that is overflowing.
I am in love with Spain. I am in love with a place and a language and a culture. I will return with a bigger heart and a greater understanding of people, compassion, and the world outside my own backyard.
Now, it's time to see what has happened back on those rolling hills with amber waves of grain...
Whether, it's a permanent return or a visit back home, well, that's just something I can't foresee.
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