Adventuring

Querida Abuelita,

Was it like this when you were young? Did you feel invincible? Older than you really were? Ignorant and naiive or aware and conscious? I don't know how I feel about my age or my "youth." Everyone insists on referring to my life here as an adventure... You could say so. But, isn't life in itself an adventure.. Or more of a journey.. Thus far, my journey began with twenty-two years of preparation. During my intensive prep courses of everyday life, the more experiences I had with the abundance of people i have met, I was able to slightly narrow the margin of likes, dislikes, and the unknowns. The best gifts are always decorated in the most unexpected packages...this is what I have learned. When I worked at the hotel, I would meet truckloads of people a day. I was a part of a large corporation funnel system, which causes more people to be overworked in a fixed, toxic environment. The promotions don't make you richer as a human. in fact, you more or less lose your will to participate in society...unless, you consider work a pillar of society. Today, for society to function, your participation in the economic sector is invaluable. But, how this process has changed from a means of survival (to pay for food, clothing, and housing), into a means of identification, I may never understand.

I've always valued my independence. But, it's not always easy. I went to Granada this weekend alone to sleep on someone's couch for three days. I know you are worried...that's why this revelation is admitted now...after the fact. The person I stayed with is fantastic. He experienced a different prep course than I-- having parents that choose to be international with their children leaves an everlasting impression on many of these types of people... At 24, he speaks 3 languages fluently, has lived in Liverpool for a year and France for two years. He has a position in an international company, with which comes the opportunity to meet more people like himself--an empathetic support group of curious seekers. I met two more of his colleagues, one from Poland and one from the united states, both of whom moved here 5 years ago without knowing a lick of Spanish. Qué cojones. Now, they are fluent, have secure positions in a stable enterprise, romantic interests with people of different backgrounds, and spend their weekends going out with each other until 4am...at the earliest. The conversation covers all social arenas--politics, humor, film, languages, beauty...an aberico of the essence of humanity. I really never thought my times here could evolve and flourish so rapidly in such an impressionable way. I explained to the group, after about 3 glasses of wine and 3 gin and tonics (don't worry, over a span of 5 hours) that I am walking on a cloud. Every. Single. Day. Feeling helpless in a language at times and making mistakes is hard for someone who is hypercritical of herself. But, this is why I'm here. I left my comfort zone. I went to a new city...alone... Only with the positive energy and hope that my host would be just as hospitable and friendly as he was. But, I must admit, he was more. The people that are close to me from home know who they are. But, there has always been a separation of friends and family for me. Until now. This individual has a family of friends... They function as a unit, can spend a whole day together, on the weekend, after 5 days at the daily grind together as well, to remind each other of old memories, while constantly making new ones. This person introduced me to his family...without knowing me. He trusted.

Grandma, you have always taught me this--trust in the good in people. I just couldn't see it in the states. Instead, all I saw was the outline of a human wrapped in money and stamped with Louis Vuitton, orange county, Mercedes Benz, or strings of zeroes. But, all that had to occur for this to be so emphatic...so special. I got to write him a note in his travel book for the people he hosts, but I don't feel like that will ever be enough. I hope I get to repay the favor some day and show him half as good of a time as he provided for me...the unconscious willingness to share good with someone.

My journey is never going to change my relationship with you or how much I long for one of your warm hugs, but, this adventure is going to allow me to be a better version of myself. And if this is only the beginning, I must keep smiling and repaying the favor to all of those who have been so welcoming to me.

I love you.

aprovechar

My apologies... I have been busy busy busy aprovechar-ing (taking advantage of) my life here in Spain. I don't know how many times I can emphasize the fact that I am living in a surreal state of mind. With each day that passes, it seems to be less and less noticeable that I am a foreigner. Needless to say, walking the streets that crisply freeze my eyebrows during the morning, and, three hours later, melt away all specks of early morning dew, has become old hat.

I see people---a LOT of people. My place is small, dry, and strewn with a person on every street corner--not impacted, rather, laced. Laced with the elderly who remember a time when rivers of wine filled the streets and they rode their worries away on boats of cheese, driven by legs of ham. Now, the up-and-coming new families of my small space have escaped the toxic distance of metropolitan air to settle within the comfortable edges of this quaint town. The overwhelmingly dry air (a facet I am slowly adapting to, while my allergies find it difficult to follow suit) is compensated for by the sweet aroma of oranges and the vibrant green trees that enliven the picturesque scene around me. It is difficult to see where the farm ends and the rest of the world begins...

But, that being said...My students are nothing but intelligent, eager, and beautiful. Those I work with are nothing but caring, helpful overly helpful, and genuine. I can't help but smile when I walk into the room upon faces beaming with grace and sunshine. Children who didn't know where the United States was...who only know colors, food, and random processes, such as, photosynthesis, digestion, and nutrition in English. Nevertheless, they are no different from you or I. In fact, they are luckier. They are  immersed in a language in a way that I never received. But, for this, I do not lament. Because, now, I am here to help them by applying all that I have learned, while, unintentionally, they teach me an endless amount...Things I could have never learned as a 5-year old in a Spanish immersion classroom...

I spend twenty minutes with each of my 12 classes...two-times a week in science and once a week in english.

Yes, I just said twenty minutes...

But, poco a poco, I am learning how to breach the gap between a standardized U.S. education and apply all that I have learned as student to assume the role of teacher.

"Teacher, may I use the toilet?!"

"Teacher...aldkfjdalkfjdaosfj (something indiscernible in Spanish in a soft, timid voice...)"

"Teacher. Ah! No me entiendes! Tú no entiendes español! Ay. Madre mía!"

But, then, I get to teach my 1st grade science classes...There, the flashcards hold the power to elicit one of the most simplistically enjoyable twenty minute classes life can offer. As I switch quickly between a picture of butter and a picture of sausages, the timbre of the class escalates quickly to a frighteningly loud chorus of spanish pronounced english...

 "BUDDEAR!!!" and "SAWZEGES!!!"

Then, as I quickly run down the stairs, and 25 paces across to the next building, I approach the silent class of 8-year olds sitting upright and attentive and follow the proper English cues. They are learning about muscles (yes, muscles--involuntary AND voluntary) and joints. My lesson plans is no plan. I am given the same worksheets as the children and that is my guide to information and enlightenment...as how to proceed for a 20-minute session...in a foreign language...while they learn words like "masseter," and "The heart is an involuntary muscle because you cannot control it."

Just last year, they were learning the word "dairy" and phrases like " I have a fever..."

Giant steps between 7 & 8.

But, all it takes is that one student to remember "biscuits" when I hold up the corresponding ambiguous flashcard or the child that pensively stares at the blackboard when I ask them to circle where the bicep is on the diagram. And, after 10 seconds of silent gawking, they gradually approach the upper arm and circle the bicep.

The more I am here...the more I learn the importance of my teachers...the importance of my role...and the importance in not placing importance on everything. Just doing what comes natural. I was afraid at first to enter into a room without the guidebook, the prompt, the lesson plan. In the US, school always teaches us to play by the rules. In Spain, no hay reglas. Five-year old girls run around with their t-shirts revealing their stomachs, while teachers comment: "Que linda! Que guapa, chica! Tu eres famosa, no?" You don't need a bathroom pass to go "to the toilet"...Yet, you do have to ask. Nothing is formal...however, it is far from a chaotic mess. A lax attitude vive aquí. Hay maestras que creen en stimulating all students and expecting more. Y hay otras que solamente quieren a recibir salario y enseñan los básicos. It is simple--children are left behind.

But, in the US, we pride ourselves on instilling difference. Everyone is good at something...just find your talent. Here, it is why do you have to be good at something? There is no competition...there are no grand expectations, besides the bare minimum. Just, be happy. Meet your friends, eat good ham, and do whatever you feel is your calling--go to university, if you wish, or stay on the farm if it suits you. You choose what you want--pressure-less and equally as rewarding.

I am readjusting my form of thinking...Although, I am sure I will never lose my competitive bone, break it, or what have you, the slow departure of the pressure is more natural than the relentless sensation of constant impact.

We have the power to choose.

Never forget that.

¿por qué no?

Tú sabes cuando tú estás mirando una pelicula, y tú piensas a tú mismo "qué guay! yo quiero eso a ser mi vida..." Yeah...That's kinda happening.

Afortunada in every way, shape, and form.

Por eso, I smile. Every time, every place, and every moment that happens through the grace and human electricity the universe conducts. When I went to Italica, I couldn't fathom what medio ambiente I was entering into... A civilization from 206 B.C., with structures still standing, that established societies to come However, they were not aware of what they were doing, what they were starting, and all the information they possessed that we still utilize today--an antiquated sense of living. But, life got complicated. We began to learn more, discuss more, with the opportunity to become more distracted, as well as, distance ourselves from one another. We rid ourselves of commun(al)ity. We provide ourselves with this illusion of openness, togetherness....más o menos...the facade of union.  When, en verdad, living in denial does nothing but perpetuate this mentality... It is a change that is very simple to accomplish.

Mañana, I went to the beach with my compañera and her Spanish friends. A normal everyday activity... Everyone can relate. But, what's ironic (cómico) is you truly can't. I am from the incomparable area of Southern California...a mezcla of sorts that is lined by the timeless ocean that serves as a constant reminder of the grand immensity of el mundo. I encountered another piece of this giant puzzle at Matascalañas, this beach on the Mediterranean.

I relish the mundane, the everyday...Not for redundancy...(I let that control aspect of my personality free before I came here). A firm horario is comfortable and breeds settlement, not community. Allow me to expand. The beach is my home, when I am around water, I am instantly put at ease by the organic crash of a wave, a sinking step into wet sand, and the simple joys the beach has to offer...a long walk, a crisp, deep tan, salga the embrace of an old friend, the sun. But, I don't speak the same language as my companions. However, we enjoy the same things, such as, futbol on the beach, wading in the lukewarm water, and sharing apertivos and tinto verano on the sand over spontaneous conversation. We spend time searching for common words for sea animals and determining what I am trying to say about whales, sharks, and seals (ballenas, tiburones, focas). There is patience in the air, while I struggle to express the most simple of things on the ground because I don't know one word...

"No te procupes..."

No one writes me off because I have to use eight different words to describe the one word I am searching for to describe the most simple of things. No one ceases with trying to help me or walks away from listening to me. The intentness across the boys' faces are warm and easy... Sigue, tómete tu tiempo.

I have support...but, more importantly, I have time. In order to learn anything, it takes time. That is life. You have been placed here to teach, to influence, to show, and to try. And, if you get really good at it, to expand... your boundaries, dismiss your fears as worries, and take advantage of the time. Así, I am here participating in customs that appear to be the same as home...and they are, but I appreciate all of the particular differences that make every day different from those before and those that have yet to occur... And when you get really lucky, you find the people that underline and highlight the microscopic nuances for you along the way. Because there is one language that is universal--love.

la vuelta a escuela

para mi abuela--le encantan rosas

niña